What is this?

"What is this?" was the thought provoking question discussed during a Christmas Eve service that I went to this past Friday night. It talked about what this entire "Christmas" holiday really mearnt and questioned - who is God - who is Jesus - and why does any of "this" really matter? Again the question, "What is this?!"

Since this service I have spent a lot of time thinking this very question and I have come up a bit short. The meaning of Christmas that flashes through the media is one of presents, presents, and more presents, but doesn't Christmas mean so much more? It seems because of the media I sometimes forget that Christmas is not about presents at all. Rather it is about a day to honor the birth of Jesus Christ (i.e. Noel, Emmanuel, etc...). It is a day to spend with your loved ones in joyful unity. It is a day to spend reflecting on how you have or have not been living your life and making your footprints clear.

All of this then added to my recent feelings of feelings like I am not doing enough for the tragedies that surround me, specifically those who are living in homeless situations. I go back to my home every night and do not usually give any thought to those who will have to sleep on the street while I sleep in a cozy bed. I don't give enough thought to children who will go without eating today, as I have ate three good meals. I don't give enough thought to those parents that have to choose between feeding their family and paying the electric bill.

Why don't we think more about others and less about ourselves? When did this world become such a self-directed society? I don't have an answer, but I am searching for it. I am also trying to search within myself and think about how I can do more with this life. Weeding out what is so unnecessary and replacing it with the immediate needs of others.

I started off by reflecting on the question, "What is this?" and still I ask it again because I don't know. I know that the more I think about it the more that I feel disappoted of myself.The more that I feel like I have been following the wrong direction.

Jesus asked his followers to drop everything for Him. To leave everything that they knew and live a life for others rather than themselves. Can I do that? Can I leave everything behind and dedicate my life fully to others? Is it possible for anyone to do it?

I hope one day that I will have a clearer picture of what this all is and what is all means. I don't think I will ever know for sure, but hopefully this time next year I will have dedicated my life more to those around me through God's will and work.

Happy New Year!