The End = The Beginning

“Often when you think you're at the end of something, you're at the beginning of something else.” ― Fred Rogers




The end of anything can be difficult. It can come with regret, tears, anger, relief, joy... The end can come with feelings of defeat, feelings of accomplishment. Sometimes when we come to the end of something, we might feel like it is also the end of everything else.

I've felt all of these feelings in the past as it pertained to my work, education, friends / family, and the greater world around me.

The end of something does not mean it is the end of our lives. It might feel like it is in some instances. However, when something ends or comes to a close in our lives then it simply means that we have the chance to brush ourselves off, take a deep breath, and begin our next journey.

When we come to the end of something, I think I've learned to do a few things:

Focus On You:  

Take some time to recharge and re-energize. Try to take sometime and focus on your

• Mental health (e.g. read a few books, watch less TV and stay away from social media, go to therapy, bask in the peace of nature); 
• Physical health (e.g. strive to walk or workout regularly, stretch and/or do yoga, eat healthier even if it is a little bit at a time); 
• Spiritual health (e.g. take time to find spirituality - listen to a podcast, go to church, read the bible or other spiritual texts, sit alone in nature)

Take A Deep Breath: 

Life is going to keep going (whether good or bad), so don't lose sight of what you hope to achieve next. Are there things you would do differently in the future? Lessons that you've learned? Qualities you want in that "next relationship" or don't want?

Be Kind.

I have not written in a very (very) long time. As part of one of those "New Year's Resolutions", I decided that I should strive to write out my thoughts more often. 

If there is one thing that I have learned over the last few years it is that kindness is one of the most important qualities that anyone can possess. 

Be Kind. 

Be kind to your friends and family, 

Be kind to your co-workers (even when you're stressed), 

Be kind to your pets, 

Be kind to the person at the store who's having a bad day, 

Be kind to yourself. 

It is far better to be kind then to be anything else. I am confident that through kindness, we will all live a richer and happier life. 

Those Moments In Life

You know those moments in your life?

I mean those moments of change and clarity that really help to move you forward. How about the moments of sadness; moments of anger; moments of jealous and lust? What do those moments mean and how do they shape each of us?

You know those moments of pure joy; moments of feeling that you belong and matter; moments of pure love; how do those moments make us a better person? Or do they make us into a worse person when those moments fade into darkness?

What about those moments of heart break; moments of gossiping; moments of deceit; moments of lying; moments of frustration; moments of violence. Can these moments make us better or worse?

I wonder in what moment in my life did I change internally or externally and really begin to grow into the person that I see myself as today?

Was it every moment or simply a select few that really helped to shape each of us? What moments are there that maybe we don't even remember happened, but had a significant effect on our outlook of life?

What are your moments? 

I've been thinking about the moments that made me into a good or bad person. Trying to decipher when the light bulb went off in my head to pursue what I'm currently doing and believe what I currently believe. I guess I'm searching for that light bulb to go off again, and so as I wait, I wonder about how I came to be where I am now.

Love > Guns

I was driving down the street a few days ago. I paused at a stop sign, and I looked to my right where stood a sign posted in someone's front yard that read,


"Stop Shooting. We Love You." 

This sign touched me very deeply. For one thing I felt a sincere love for the family who put it in their yard. Right now in Pittsburgh, and in many other places throughout the world people are killing one another with a gun. More tragically than that many of the victims of gun violence are children and youth.

This sign also refueled my heart with pure love that I felt was recently slipping away from me. For someone to take such a violent act and to place it with the word love simply touched me. It reminded me that we need to love one another more radically and unconditionally. We need to wake up from our dreamy state and look around at all of the people in our lives that we can love every day instead of spreading hate, anger, gossip, judgement, or silence to those that are in need. We can do more.


"It is Christmas every time you let God love others through you... yes, it is Christmas every time you smile at your brother and offer him your hand." - Mother Teresa


I did a bit of research and I found a write up about the signs. It is a project being done by a woman named "Vanessa German, a 36-year-old performance and visual artist living in Pittsburgh’s Homewood neighborhood. German has gained publicity locally for “Love Front Porch,” an art project that encourages kids to stop by her house to paint, sculpt and create." Read more about the project here - http://theciviccommons.com/blog/stop-shooting-we-love-you.

Life.

Can anyone tell me the point to life? To living? To being? 

It is  an odd thought, or maybe it is more of a 'far out there' question, but really, what is the point of life. I wake up each morning striving to do good in the world. Trying to spread love where I walk in the lives of people that are around me. I mess up. Each day I try to be a good person, but I always seem to fall short along the way. I tend to say the wrong thing. I allow my emotions to take over and I act the wrong way. There are even many days when I feel like I did nothing good, but rather I spread bad to those around me. So, I tend to think (especially lately) what I am doing and what is the point to any of it?

I guess what keeps bringing me back to reality. What keeps helping me to wake up each morning and to push through each day is the simple fact that there must be something meaningful to this life. I simply have not discovered it yet.

Through the years I have suffered a lot of pain, heart break, lose, suffering, and discouragement. There is no way that all of that was for nothing. I know that there is more to life than what I am seeing or feeling right now. There has to be. I know that I didn't go through what I have for nothing.

There is purpose to life no matter how beaten down we feel, or how discouraged we become.

There is purpose. I am convinced of that fact. 

We simply have to find it, and sometimes finding it will of course be hard and long. We will have to keep reminding ourselves that there is purpose out there for each of us. And in the end I still do believe that everything that happened in the past will be worth it. It will have made us stronger.

So, I continue to come back  to feeling without a purpose, but I keep working at it. I keep working at this nutty thing called life. It does help when I get to experience those little moments when the love that I show is reciprocated with warmth and joy from another. In those little moments I see God again and I am reminded to keep going... to keep pushing... and to never give up. And above all I am reminded to always do everything in life with pure love for everyone. Even we feel down and out we might at least be able to make be a light in someone else's life through love.

"You can be whatever you want to be, not matter what others try to tell you." 

Walking w/ A Heavy Heart

It is simple.

The last few months, I have been walking with a very heavy heart, and in my opinion it can be one of life's toughest experiences.

Lately, I have let a lot of things in my life bring me down (unfortunately), including all of those work hassles and stresses, relationships with friends, and simply  trying to be a "good person."... whatever that means. It can be a lot to carry around with you... like strapping a pair of 50 pound weights to your shoulders and slowly moving to the next day.

And as so many others out there, when I am feeling down, I try to do those normal things to "deal with it", such as watching a sad movie, reading inspirational quotes, listening to depressing music, etc... Though overall, I don't want to be caught up in this long "funk" because I want to enjoy life rather than dwell in a pit of sorrow (which is where I feel like I have been lately).

I know that we all have been there, and we will probably be there again down the road. Recently, I realized something that I had not thought about before - there will be times in our life when we literally need to walk away from the stresses and sorrows that are stretching us like a rubber band in order to clear our head. In  order to rejuvenate our body. In order to truly find ourselves again.

So, when I recently found myself at the end of my rope (quite literally), I took a two-week vacation out of the country to visit some dear people in my heart where I had no access to communication back home. Taking the time away has honestly brought me back to life.

I didn't realize (in it all) how much my daily stresses that pop up day in and day out really impacted every aspect of my heart, mind, body, and soul until I was near the edge of a cliff and about to jump.

Let's say that you can't take a long vacation and get away.

Do something on your own like:

• Taking a walk in the peace of nature, 
• Laying in your yard or on the couch, 
• Going to the movies and getting a large popcorn, 
• Reading in a coffee shop, 
• Exercising, 
• Closing your eyes and breathing for a good minute, 
• Volunteering... 

I think the most important thing to do (at least what really helped me) is make sure that you leave your cell phone and get away from it all for a good chunk of time. I believe that society has trained us to feel that we cannot live even one second without communication (i.e. a cell phone, internet, etc...), but I think that is where we have it wrong. Everyone needs some time to themselves.

Watching the Clouds

Seeing More – Discoveries?
I watch the clouds drifting slowly by
The trees trembling so slightly
Bending, leaning, straightening
I watch the sun dry the deck, little by little warming the wood where my dog sleeps at my feet
I watch my breathing exhaling gently expanding
And open to possibilities and inhaling what is, what might be
I watch the possibilities turn my thoughts to dreams and images and stay with my breath
I watch the breeze bring in serenity, clarity, and peace by just being, by just being
-Esther Louie

Do you remember being a kid and spending day after day laying in the cool summer grass and watching the clouds pass through the sky? It was peaceful and without thought.

When do we lost that child like freedom and will to lay for hours and watch cloud animals form? When do we as an adult lose the time to enjoy the simplicity of life and the beauty around us? I'm sitting here in my car at a dead stop scrambling to get to my next destination and it hit me like a ton of bricks...

I caught a moment's glimpse of the clouds swaying and the beauty of the sun in the dusk filled sky and I was suddenly taken back to my childhood. I was taken back to days when I laid for hours in the grass with friends and family staring at the clouds, trying to find shapes of animals and objects, and laughing without reason as only a child can do.

There are times when I long to have that child-like patience, joy, and freedom to really enjoy the simple things in life. 

“Always remember to slow down in life; live, breathe, and learn; take a look around you whenever you have time and never forget everything and every person that has the least place within your heart.” – Unknown

“Slow down and enjoy life. It’s not only the scenery you miss by going to fast – you also miss the sense of where you are going and why.” - Eddie Cantor